Case of The Mistaken Heart

There have been three, possibly four blogs that have completely closed since I started writing/following here. All within the last few weeks. Some really lovely blogs, too.
(Strangely, a majority of them have all ended using this formula: It's getting much to much. I love you, I need you, don't leave.)
I have this dreadful sense that I caused it.
But, that's illogical. I don't even know anyone here. I have rarely commented on anyone's blog; certainly do not think I've said anything that would be hurtful or misleading.
Maybe I see it this way because I that's how I feel. This is what I am fighting not to do. Don't run, don't close off, don't pull back the words now.

It is very strange to me; there seems to be a widespread epidemic of misidentity going around in some of the places I visit. Maybe, mostly a Blogger.com thing?
 It makes me feel a little uncomfortable. As if I should always be walking on eggshells, watch what I say.

There are things I don't know how to say, but there is nothing I have to say that I don't want someone to read.
In fact, there are a great deal of things I have to say that I want someone to read. This is my secret place to practice that.
In fact, if (as the quiet place in my brain is so willing to suggest) there was a someone who was here with me, in the shadows reading my words, I am not scared. I don't want to hide myself. I might be foolish, and my words aren't yet coherent, but there are no words I wish to keep hidden.


What scares me is that it seems I am not the only person afflicted with this malady. Who is roaming out there, taking on the words of others, using them to mislead others? Pretty words designed to inspire love, trust and hope.

I for one, am glad I have kept to myself. My words can be taken by anyone who wants them. My words are free to mean whatever one wishes them to.




But, my heart isn't free to keep words which have not been given directly to me. So, instead they ease my soul and carry my thoughts over the difficult places; giving me no rest. But always urging, urging me to keep going. Don't stop.