Assauge: To Lessen the Intensity (Of Something That Pains)

every time i walk into this city
i wonder if you are near
i wonder if you're wandering like i do
or if you have a destination
i walk down crowded streets
looking over my shoulder
hearing my name called
with every passing gust of wind
i stumble over the sidewalks
as i strain to see inside
all the seventh storey windows
then, i am standing on a corner curb
and i'm not too sure
what i'm doing there
i am pushed and jostled
as i stand there
still
i want to see if i can catch
your scent in the wind
and i do
it blows past me
quickly
and i am startled
i bump into irritated strangers
as i whip my head around
trying to find you
i hear your voice
clearly and softly
close to my ear, saying
what are you looking for?
and then it's gone
and the old man to my left is staring
at me strangely
and the smells of burnt oil
and a densely populated city
are all that are left
and i want to pull
at the first person i see
hold them tightly around the collar
and ask them if they've seen you
i want to run into the cafes
and ask the poets if they can tell me
who it is you sing to
i want to go to the corner bakery
and ask the girl behind the counter
if you have ever been there
and if so
who do you buy the morning's coffee for
i want to assail the postman
and demand to know if the letters that you send have an address
or are they sent
to the dead letter office
i want to climb high into the trees
and sit with the birds
and listen to them chat and gossip
and find out if anyone comes
to your
apartment at night
to throw rocks at your window
i wait until late in the night
and crawl close to the moon
and ask her where it is
you hide yourself
i want wander the endless
empty streets of this town
until i find the goddess of dreams
and ask her
to please stop
sending you to me
if you won't say hello