I can't remove your
smell from underneath my skin

again

If we die for love
how will you ever show me?

you want the proof
and I don't want to smile through distortion

nothing seems that possible
but still you are here, breathing in my ear

and I keep choosing to wake up
right now

I want to give back
what do you think we need?

my eyes don't see, my mind doesn't know, but oh, what my heart hears

If you knew what I knew you wouldn't have to find space to fit despair, for it would consume you.
If I knew what you knew, would I have found that space inside God that didn't require my blood sacrifice?

We have paid the price. Of doubt, of failures.

Every cut you make tears another hole in me.

I don't believe in redemption, but I do believe in change.

open vessel

god isn't allowed to want
unlike me, so dependent on needs

some people don't like water,  some are in the middle of the ocean

the only thing i really knew were the possibilities as they were presented to me, the moment i opened my eyes and reached out for you
i know i want to feel you and keep feeling you

i heard a person would go mad if they knew what god knew
i heard that we'd go mad if we looked at god directly
only one of those things is true

now? now is my what then.
and I don't know. I'm still trying not to panic.

off the face of the earth

fall, fall for it

and when the poles do shift, don't twist
jump

I'm terrible with these years, but these are the three that will liberate me from my fears

Blue Lunar Eagle
Red Eastern Castle of Turning
Earth family- Polar      Clan- Sky I polarize in order to create
Stabilizing mind
I seal the output of vision
With the lunar tone of challenge
I am guided by the power of accomplishment


Kin 15
Harmonic 4: Electric Output express intelligence of service






White Overtone WorldBridger
Green Central Castle of Enchantment
Earth family- Cardinal      Clan- Blood I empower in order to equalize
Commanding opportunity
I seal the store of death
With the overtone tone of radiance
I am guided by the power of timelessness


Kin 226
Harmonic 57: Resonant Store Remember elegance of attunement






White Solar Dog
Green Central Castle of Enchantment
Earth family- Polar      Clan- Truth I pulse in order to love
Realizing loyalty
I seal the process of heart
With the solar tone of intention
I am guided by the power of death

Kin 230
Harmonic 58: Spectral Process Formulate free will of liberation

my mind watches in helpless horror, feeling sickly
as my heart lurches forward, wildly and without caution

meh

You know that time of year...
that one day after Winter has finally come to stay...
after the snow has come and gone, and come again
when the sun has been coming out as always but so,
so cold as to freezes around your very breath

You know that time of year when it's certain there are
still weeks of these frosty days, ahead?
When your skin swears it feels the overcast grey of the sky, and it
pricks at the sound of birds beginning to settle into song
calling out in wonder, never quite questioning the next move.
This particular moment when your bones shiver and say
"The Earth has cracked open, the flowers are coming out to play"
this is what we're always waiting for. This is why we struggle,
this is why we stay.

For You

I am my perception
my thought and movement and
point of reaction
I am more than what I am feeling
I am all that I do or don't do and then some

I am everything there is and that is nothing less than light.
In the end the brightness becomes so heavy it pulls me down (like gravity) and the darkness always pushes itself back into dawn.


xo

maladroit

understanding swells and deflates
independent of perception
immediate awareness
a drop as pure as time
 without man's limits

like this

because you looked
I may never see it the same
as I did before

because you touched me
I may never feel the same
as I did before

A Gentle Violence

We fear more than just criticism.
We fear indifference; we fear the
obligatory words offered.
We fear being pulled into
a freely given smile, only to
wake up in its cold emptiness.

We don't fear the physical abuse
of a friend or a lover as much as
we fear the incalculable hurt of
finding one's self woven into the
uncaring flesh of another heart.

Here, here, and here

we keep from one another, times when our insides tighten
our shells begin to crack, something is changing, again
growing wildly, inside we know we can bare everything
though no one really ever asks for it all at once
mind your manners, don't stare, don't take up time
given, we all imagine the world at our fingertips, if only
we could be so bold, so brave to give that of ourselves
and more, always more. don't be afraid, see there's more
to this darkness, this tearing of the sky, we can cave
in the monsters, now all together
while dancing on, above the flowers, singing like mad
oh, of this breath-taking life

sincerely

so i say nothing
instead, learning
not to run the
opposite direction
of my heart

if my disposition
will ease your intuition
I will follow the best
of my intentions

Border Lands

I like the idea of being able to touch you
through time and over distances
I pretend to understand but
the landscape is always changing
a slice of pure blue across my heart
the only thing that remains the same

some thing in the way

I want to tell you things, I do
yet, right now
the only thing I know how to do
is point, this and this, here
these are what separate our atoms
this is what holds me together

where angels fear to tread

I feel I am intruding, but my heart is drawn in. "Closer, closer now."

words for god

Maybe there is something freeing in believing
nothing's there, nothing matters
Knowing this is truth

Still my heart twists and cries

and if we never looked each other in the eyes when we spoke, would we know the truth when we heard it

Let me ask you something.
If it's true, I once hurt your heart
and you went after revenge...

Am I dead yet? Has the carcass
satisfied you?
Most likely not; though
I'm afraid you've had your fill and I
am but one of a pack.

You Please

blow me apart
I come together
any which way

Swept Away By The Storm

the thunder has been rattling my bones today
since before I could hear it
I could feel the vibration, the sheer tension
swelling up in me

how long can this build before it breaks

I long for you the way a hummingbird longs for its own heartbeat





Longing is a word I spit out at night, lying under the weight of my own voice echoing in my head

Carving Space from the Stones of Time

there should be a place for you and I
 walls built high enough to keep everyone else out
secret pass through, words meant for us alone
we could drift out of dreams
speaking only about what matters
drawing each other out

Will Not Self Destruct

If there were a place away from prying eyes
somewhere for only you and I
we could just start any way
just say every thing


Would you be alone?
Would I fill it with empty words?