Night Terrors

A voice whispers
"I love you"
the sound nearly lost
in a tangled halo of my hair

My heart, suspended
hangs for a long moment
before slamming me down
headlong into the dark

Suddenly I am miles away
Years slip from my life
the way rain slides down glass

I am struggling, struggling
to breathe
to see

I hear your voice
I feel the weight of you
holding me tight
pressing closer to my skin

But you aren't here
These aren't your words
This isn't our night, our bed

And suddenly I'm screaming
Hot, bitter tears choke the life
out of my heart

No words escape me
Not a sound breaks the silence
I swallow the darkness, at once

These are the seeds that are planted
To crack open the hidden, bring it
To life, expand to make room for more

my love spreads itself around thick
full and warm, aching and reaching
to touch, to soothe and to give itself
openly, freely

without abandon, my love
grows wildly, choking out
the weeds of doubt
breaking up the ground beneath my self
cracking the cement with seeds of hope

And just before I wake, you pull away and say
"I thought I could hold you"

but, everything

The heart is a puzzle
made up of many
 different pieces

"My chest contracts and expands until I feel I will burst or be torn in two. I feel I am being swept away by something, over which I have no control. Back and forth, back and forth like the tides."


"I believe they call that symptom of life, breathing."