cunt

I can say all sorts of pretty things
as well

But I won't do it just to make you love me

In A Blue Moon Light

sometimes your name comes up
when my girls get to chatting
about love and life and all

every one pities me
thinking I don't know love
which perhaps has truth

you see, in their eyes
they believe that their love
was real and mine is not

I see in your eyes
you believe the same
take your time, I do too

Pestal

you weigh heavily upon me
the friction of your thought and motion
releasing an even more potent aspect
of my obscure substance

Taste

Fancy words of love
 won't get us very far, though
I can't resist one or two

Colors are blended
Until all definition
Ceases, leaving me

Blind, I crawl forward
I think so I do not know
Zen is too near death

My body desires the chaos
That my soul longs to shed
Keep me together

I had a dream, built on places I had grown in

when I tried to write it
it was shuffled away, out of my control
now I'm afraid to write it a second time

again

If we die for love
how will you ever show me?

you want the proof
and I don't want to smile through distortion

nothing seems that possible
but still you are here, breathing in my ear

and I keep choosing to wake up
right now

I want to give back
what do you think we need?

The Grey Areas

All I ever wanted was the chance to reach out, touch you,
feed the wild, roaring flames of your flesh,
soothe the places your imagination can't run from.

Chances are, it's what I need, too.

The Hours In Which Words Are Unwelcome

My hunger waits

until the darkest parts of the night

sneaking up, lurking by my door

I stare at the glass

Wondering what is a true reflection

And what my mind distorts

I reach out, pushing

until the breaking point

I insist on disbelief

Things cannot be rearranged

To my will; I watch

Hold back until too late

Do you need to touch to understand

What do you need to prove

Have you built everything

in order to command

your will, the universe

Is yours...

I had it all and lost myself

in your atoms

awakening

I think I have been dreaming of you
again
I prefer to believe
this is not what has been keeping me up
nights are quiet, I don't feel the need
to explain, or understand or plan
what is happening is larger than me
alone, this is absolute impossibility
we will never be alone, but
god, this loneliness
just restless ambition
masked desire
need, to protect

I want to reach out and touch you
I must realize I've been dreaming
The stitches rip as I open my eyes

It is so easy to lose the words
for what I see, I hear, I long to tell
yet so easy
to spot that look in someone's eyes
they roll slightly back as the reality
fumbles, lost in the chaos
between here and there, where
every day things demand
attention, what did you say? 

And Then?

I want to be cruel, lover, I will push you
Until you go away, you shall have no desire
For me, my love I want to hide
Unburden yourself of the discord, confusion
Do not stay, where my heart still sinks
Beneath the weight of you, the world echoes
What I have to say, you must come too close
To hear, you shall certainly get burnt

The Mockingbird

You know
I don't need to tell you
You just like to hear it
Everyone needs to hear it
Often
You would like me to spell it out
Bring life to my hidden thoughts
I know you
Hold back

There are things I don't know
Things you refuse to share
For my safety, for my happiness
So I retain some modicum of faith
It's better that some things are
Left unsaid
I cannot cry, though drowning
Is imminent, death knows
All the prettiest things are only in the mind

These castles I've been dreaming
Only appear when I whisper in your ear

"the clock has been stuck at three for days and days"

there's a lot of words in my head
and a frozen pizza in the freezer
but i don't feel like eating them
alone, it's so late why can't i
wake up, stay happy

Whale of Time

this one's for your dreams, one for mine
here is for what we want, and best wishes
for what we redefine

interrupted

you want
 I tell you
   how
    quietly

Sincerely, The Management

My heart has always had a lot to say on the subject of you
Always been insatiably curious of you
My heart always wants to hold you

I would stifle it, strangle it, drown it if I could
That's the fear talking

But my heart insists, incoherent though it may sound (it's not)
You may have noticed

I could fill libraries with the words my heart shouts
But I censor them
Oh, how I fear the foolishness of my perceptions
Oh, how I must honor the holiness of my feelings
Oh, how many reasons why the moon hides

 I could stand your disinterest in my emotions, but
I couldn't stand to free them

I hold myself in contempt for holding my self back
But still I find myself begging to be kept silent

I've never felt so far away (it's so still here) and I was never close

No good to ask why I hadn't allowed it to carry on and wage war
Still, even now I don't want to fight
I just want to give in to my heart, to you

but


I would kill to prevent you from misunderstanding me

butterfly lashes

in a glass box holds the fiery, fierce flames that propelled the life of a thing
once touched by the very finger that kisses a little death on the mouths of man

My heart is in a halfway house

In the middle
You want me to meet you
And I so much want to

But may I remind you
That we are already in the midst of this
Where is the middle but our two hearts?