Parallel Universe

I said I have a way of seeing
the way things are, the way they were,
the way they can be.

You said things never stay the same
be on to something new, don't stay,
stuck in your head forever.

We want change, we want our own way.
With every breath we dissolve and reassemble
we are reborn, awake and aware

Let's assess the possibilities, shake the dice
roll again. The world is created with
each of our steps. Stay, walking with me.

In A Blue Moon Light

sometimes your name comes up
when my girls get to chatting
about love and life and all

every one pities me
thinking I don't know love
which perhaps has truth

you see, in their eyes
they believe that their love
was real and mine is not

I see in your eyes
you believe the same
take your time, I do too

Another Day

Love sent to a person, mistaken, is not love lost

limbo

you thought if you could see clearer
you'd get a little bit higher
now all this gravity is making your dream look like a liar

Burst

I realize I am still holding my breath
although the moment has passed

Not Another Word

Unexpectedly
 there you were, so tender and
 you are so gentle,
careful; You stand all
on your own; aloof; hard won
road bring me right
next to you, so new
so open and unafraid
so ready for you
So completely, I
thought I'd wake to you today
Unabashedly

Jumping To Conclusions

We all stopped asking what I'm running from
 Which is good for me, as it buys me more time
   to run

Pestal

you weigh heavily upon me
the friction of your thought and motion
releasing an even more potent aspect
of my obscure substance

Mortar

I've been patching holes for so long

I don't know how to leave open space

for another to get through

In this dark, I feel you standing here

with me and I want to let you in 

I do, but I imagine you

Feel trapped, forced to make a move;

if I don't give in now 

I will just continue to lose;

Give me fresh air, room to grow;

I am too much to remain contained,

hidden from your view

I, of the Storm

My heart spasms uncontrollably
Heaving itself in an attempt to scramble
across ruin and rubbish, distance and static

Having nothing to offer, I hold tight to the reins

Look at this angle, Angel

I come to tell you my secrets, but flip past all the petty minutia
until there's nothing left to say, unless I feel like walking
off the deep end that day,

If I start to talk to fill the space, I find myself watching my voice get higher
I grow removed, 'she always sounds hysterical when she's trying to say something'
I wish I knew how to talk to you, ask you things that cause you to spill
all the tiny details of what you do, what you think- why do you make your face
like that
Will you tell me things I don't know
If I'm quiet too long are you going to go away?

If I told you a story, would you be more interested
Do you know which parts are true and which parts fabricated
Maybe you just don't care to hear the ending?


(Would you know to say "but no story ever has a real ending, they always go on")
Would you know to seal it with a kiss

Or were you thinking something else?

It's Just That

I hear you whispering to yourself at night
I don't know if you even know that I can hear you
I don't know if you are awake or on the verge of sleep

I wonder at the words you never say to me
Sigh at the thoughts you don't feel you can share
I want your ideas, their trails and dead ends

Still, I have been allowed into this space,
In this moment you may be troubled and feel far away
As I feel, unable to do more than make a pass, some simple gesture

Not waiting
Not expecting
We bend space
Suspended in time

And I hope it is enough
Just to be here, with you

I want to unfurl from your side like a tree in the crag of a mountain

I want you to love me the way the sky loves the earth

My body is a runway
for you to take off
My feet are stepping stones
for you to get to where you need to be
My hands hold
a light in the darkness for you
Your dreams are a key
to unlock your fears
My heart, a doorway
for you come back in to yourself

Non-existent, Silence

I want to spill from this wound under my rib
secrets and songs of the every day

Taste

Fancy words of love
 won't get us very far, though
I can't resist one or two

Heroes need not apply

The heart is not a wound I am looking to heal
The doors of heaven are tearing open, using our souls as gateways

If ever I was broken
I've forgotten now
Seems as if I always was
This way

If ever I am torn,
As I am so often,
I will stitch myself back together
With an inconsistent understanding
Of how life works

Without, Within

No trace of your touch remains on my skin
Nowhere left in my hair that you hands have lingered
All of you is removed from me


All that's left now is this lightness of breath
An odd determination to live with my heart split open
A voice (of you) that urges me on, go on, don't stop, don't look back

Unsettled

This is not nothing
Every word I eke out is something

Every breath I manage in succession
Every step, in any direction

All of this, proof
Of something

Maybe it isn't enough
Probably, I don't know
How to do things any different

But never believe that I haven't tried
Don't belittle the strength it took for me
to do more than nothing

No secrets, no tricks up my sleeve
No fancy displays to attract your attention
Ugly and clumsy it may be, yet I show you
My everything

Swan Song

I live instinctively
following the pull of the seasons
fiercely protective of my heart
unable to tell of it's inner workings
though my body shows a simple version
of that which my mind is complicated by

through air and water
my movements are unrestrained
perhaps I cannot tell you why
until I reach the end
yet, follow me as I follow you
and we shall live
as we are born to

Right Me

tear apart all that I was, throw away what I'm not, build me up again in my own image

Flesh Of My Flesh, Heart of My Own

I love your bones, the
way they knit back together
when you've been broken

I adore the way
your veins hold up against
the rushing of blood

Skin and hair, tissue
wrapping up a gift
of perseverance

ache and pain

most days I don't want to live beyond the feel of you
pushing into my skin, pressing into my heart
heavy, is this desire; this thing too vast to name
fist in mouth, I hold back my yearning
only wanting you, to bring me to the edge
the farthest reaches of this life within

Nurse, Stat

My heart is open, raw and pulsing
I don't want you to look at it

on the wind

I am thinking of eggs and onions,
 turn the corner and there you are

My hand snags my hair,
 suddenly you are peering into my eyes

Talking to myself, of odds and ends and other things,
 you reply to things I don't say aloud

I reach out for you
 and find myself alone

Fall Into Me

Temper my soul with winters past
and summer's passion
teach me spring's song, relentlessly
rising

Lay me down, cover me in color
under a sky unwavering, I watch
you live and die and live again

Oh my heart, never be still

If I do all the right things
follow that point where the heart and brain connect
why is there still this space, so hollowed
a stark and blinding white light, paint splashed across the surface
why do I insist on trying to fill it

Anonymity In Numbers

I don't want to be a part of the grasping masses.
I don't want to need anything.
I don't always want to have to go after more. More, more.

but stepping out seems loud and jarring

ho om

Even here
in private, alone
I am shy, jealous and uncertain
hesitant in concreting the scope of
what I see

Though perhaps it's standoff-ish
A show down
between me and my third eye

Yet, I don't want to fight,
Acting as if I know I everything
I just want to proceed
as though I do

To Be Or Not To Be Little

Why does my tongue get so nasty?

What do I feel so protective of?

What am I so scared of?

Null and Void

You say you want me to keep talking
"keep singing in the dark"
but how can I say I feel like a gaping hole
so far from everything I've ever known
I feel so empty, vicious and alone

Let me in. Let me in!
I stand outside myself and cry.

Let me out! Let me out!
Inside the tedium of mind mind, I shout.

Whether I am here or there, nowhere or somewhere
I keen, I wobble and drag on.

The Here and There

Late at night I hear music
drifting into my ears, from where
I do not know

It sounds like a door to a church, that has been left gently ajar
and from far within it's halls comes the strong but distant strain of a song

It's like that sound inside your head when you hold your breath too long
but I know I'm still breathing

It feels like the world is spinning, turning slowly and it's weight is dragging
against the moving wind, against the drifting life

It sounds like something that is scraping against something else

It's like a heave and a sigh and a "don't ask me now"
It's fingertips dragging across still waters

(The trains shift and settle, re-assure me that it's not them making that noise and that they hear it too, and yes we're all still here)

"Give me a beautiful thought." he said.

She said, "I've got to go."

water snakes and other reptiles

I was pride

and something was worrying me 

you would be the fall

I didn't know how to tell you 

anything at all

If the only way I could inspire you was from a distance
would you still want me near?

"If you're a bird, I'm a bird"

What if I'm not a bird?

"I can hear you sing."

Sweet and Salty

If you are the sea
I shall be a boat
that rides the waves
and braves the storm

If you are the sea
I shall be the sky
that always touches you
always covering you

If you are the sea
I shall be an octopus
that settles in the deep
keenly watching the life within

If you are the sea
I shall be toes
that dance and leap
and test the waters

Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation

I feel like a stranger
in a secret land
a universe created
for love, and my love
alone, he put his heart
into a void
to light my way home

wake up

I would think I was just a part of your dream
but, you were the one who came into mine

Tree branches scrape at my window and I can't help but wonder
If that's how you would come for me, in the night, like an animal
Or if you would use the door and walk in as if you owned the girl

But the days of you coming back for me are gone now
And all I'm left with is the emptiness and the silence in my heart

I have this theory that nobody actually needs me to say anything
because everything I have to say, can (and will) be found somewhere else
and I'm ready to hear something
more

Pomp and Circumstance

Would that I could tell you everything
But you expect words, while I am trying
To speak with hands, with steps, with clarity

The snick of paper touching, of words parading
This is how it sounds when my heart is calmly beating
Its exposure and explosion cannot be caught in a snapshot

The Mermaid and the Prince

If I lost my voice
would you recognize me when
my heart comes calling?

this is the moment in your dream

right before you wake up

the light is shining on

everything, you see

anything is possible

"so what stops you?"


Only what I think I shouldn't do.

Amnesia

the short story goes
a dear friend conspired to help me remember
who I was, when I thought I never knew
(I just have to follow my heart)

Negative Space

I just want to hear what you have to tell

The Spectacular Free-Fall

but those are the things
of dreams and fairytales

all I believe anymore is that
 you came back
just to watch me wake up

I light up from the inside
but I am afraid of fire and begin to choke it out

you dance with me, at arm's length
keeping me, just inside your personal space

stay in time with me, I will follow if you lead

Unconsciously

I've built a dream
 so elaborate that
it speaks to me
 and I believe
it's real

I miss so much, too
but I never know what to say
what to do, to get through to you

Perhaps I should say more and talk less...